I read something interesting a while back about taking time to thank your pain for what you learned from it. With all the things we go through in life, and even this year, I have never considered such a thing as thanking the pain of the experiences. The thought itself is redemptive in nature and one I decided to use at the end of one of the most blessing-filled, interesting and challenging years of my life.
So, here goes:
Dear Pain of 2017,
We walked through some things together this year. I wanted to take time to point out that though this year was full of ups and downs, you did not get the better of me. I am leaving this year victorious and better than even when I started. First though before this ending is a new beginning, some gratitude is in order for you.
Thank you for showing me this year that whatever doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. You reminded me not to get too comfortable, or to put my security or identity in anything besides God, because the only sure thing is Him, and His unending mercy, when I am afraid or hurt.
Thank you for showing me that I can endure more change in a short period of time than I previously had considered. I learned that I can manage change that’s outside of my control with the groups of people I am leading, even when none of them are in the least bit interested in embracing it. It was through that I also learned as long as I have God on my side, I am a general of any army He has given me to lead.
Thank you for showing up in so many places that felt outside of my control, and where I could see that it is God Who makes a way even when I don’t work for it. Because of you I am very confident that it is He Who goes before me, and He Who comes behind me to cover my mistakes, and that it is also He Who I stand in when all else around me is shaking and unrecognizable.
Thank you for revealing to me yet again this year that life is short, and fragile, and how one word can change someone’s life, or not, after I was afraid to act on it. I found yet again I would rather look like or be a fool than to miss acting on what I sense is happening in someone else who is afraid or desperate. And thank you for the lesson, that I will never again forget, of how my uniqueness from God is a gift and how He uses me can change the outcome of someone else’s choice. I won’t miss the chance next time.
Thank you for the many nights of praying for my girls, for the fulfillment of God’s plans in their lives, as I laid awake with aching concern for them for one reason or another. My contending for their destiny will be the very thing that leaves a black eye on the face of the enemy as I wrestle for their inheritance from his claws. There is nothing as powerful as a praying momma or grandma.
Thank you for reminding me there are actually good men leaders many places. I almost forgot, while in the middle of the frenzied media barrage of bad news, that the good men still exist, too. I am much better now about calling them out with encouragement, and that probably wouldn’t have happened with all the relentless negative reminders had I not felt the pain of the good ones who exited my company.
Lastly, thank you for the recent exposure of areas that were not yet healed inside me. Without your reminder I may not have pursued lancing open the infection so that my heart could heal further. I better understand now that there are some wounds so deep that a broken heart has to heal from the inside out.
You didn’t win this year, or the 49 before it, and you won’t win next.
A “righteous (wo)man may fall seven times, but then (s)he rises again and continues on…” Proverbs 24:16
Sincerely,
Gail
kindlemyheartgod 